Say Something Funny...B*tch

I’M BACK!

I took a few weeks off to do some “me things” then Tumblr decided to suck balls and I haven’t been able to post to my page for about a zillion years blahblahblah I’m back.

AHEM!

While away, I did some pretty awesome stuff. Like what? Well I took a five week French class at the LA Community College. Have you been to LACC? Well let me tell you, it’s NOT great. But I am going to Paris in February and thought it would be nice to brush up on my French, since all I remember from high school is how to make crepes and say “I am 16 years old”.

Anyway, I took the class with a few friends and a handful of people that I am pretty sure were homeless or at the very least, f-ing crazy! Honestly, I don’t know how these people could afford to pay the $100 tuition or what they were possibly going to do with remedial French skills, but there we were. And I soon realized how hard it was going to be to learn ANYTHING.

Case in point?

WEEK 1:

Week one consisted of a man with OCD freaking out because someone asked to borrow his pen. Wrong move. Not satisfied to simply let it go – OCD Guy launches into a long, in depth tale of how he was late to class because he dropped his pen, spiraled into a panic and then had to wash it clean. No one cares but the story stretches into infinity. Desperate to keep the class on track, our Professor teaches us how to say “What is the date?” in French.

WEEK 2:

Monotone Man in the front row steadily mumbles non-stop for the entirety of the two hour lesson. “Oh yeah, that’s just like Spanish.” “Huh? Uh, I know that one… it’s uh… hello. That’s hello in French.” “I’ve been to France like… three times.” It was like a low, never-ending hum of his every thought and impression; basically the stream of consciousness of an idiot. The Professor is clearly aggravated and teaches us how to say “What is the date?” in French.

WEEK 3:

The older woman in class, Marie, reveals herself to be a shrill lunatic after the Professor suggests copying the French CD to a computer. Marie has a complete meltdown because she doesn’t understand computers and never will and DON’T EVEN TALK TO HER ABOUT IT BECAUSE SHE WON’T GET IT!!!!!!! Defeated, the Professor teaches us how to say “What is the date?” in French.

Week 4:

The Professor tries to shake OCD Guy’s hand. Wrong move. Marie is convinced that the Professor created the Venn diagram just to fuck with her and Monotone Man engages OCD Guy in a conversation about the health benefits of fist bumping vs. hand shaking. We learn how to say “What is the date?”

Week 5:

No one shows up to class. The professor tells me I should probably repeat French 1 and that I am no good at “la pronunciation”.

Hey, at least I still know how to make some kick ass crepes. Also, Quelle est la date?

Lemon and Powdered Sugar Crepes

Adapted from http://allrecipes.com/recipe/basic-crepes/

Makes approx. 8 crepes

1 cup all-purpose flour

2 eggs

1/2 cup milk

1/2 cup water

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons butter, melted

Zest of 1 lemon

Lemon wedges and powdered sugar for topping.

Mix flour and eggs in a large bowl. Slowly add the milk and water, stirring to thoroughly combine. Then add the lemon zest, salt and butter. Mix or beat until smooth.

Heat a lightly oiled pan over a medium flame. Using a ¼ measuring cup, scoop out the batter onto the hot pan. Tilt the pan slowly in order to thinly and evenly cover the surface with batter.

Cook the crepe for about two minutes on each side or until light brown. Turn and cook on the other side. P.S. They say the first crepe is “for the dog” and to be thrown out. Do what you want.

Serve topped with plenty of fresh squeezed lemon juice and powdered sugar. Voila!