Say Something Funny...B*tch

Hey fuckfaces,

I’ve been busy as shit so many apologies for the skipped week. Oh wait, I’m not.  Because instead of reading my fucking bullshit, you SHOULD be reading like…the news.  Or at least some creative non-fiction, for fuck’s sake. Or at LEAST this Benjamin Franklin picture with some text on it:

You see, I was at a party the other night. Naturally, I was getting my Coors Light on when an old friend came up to me and told me that there was a website about art and architecture that I should totally check out called “Pinterest.”

Little did I know I was in for a world of LAME. 

First, I had to get an invitation and go through this whole fucking song and dance about my “INTERESTS.”  There was no boxes to check for “binge drinking,” “horses” or “Rite Aid Points Program,” so I was at first concerned, then wary. 

And it was DEFINITELY NOT about art and architecture, unless your artistic standard was that fat chick in your high school who wove her own yarn hats.  Seriously, this site was made for, designed by, and jacked off too a scope of women that range from every unpopular, bottom-heavy “artsy nerd” types who gave themselves bangs and bought n’ wore the bottom halves of Men’s leisure suits to the slightly more popular, boring girls who dreamed of buying the right wicker endtable for their canopy marital bed and shuffled through Taylor Swift quotes to PUT ON THEIR DREAM BOARDS. 

So I guess what I’m saying is that the site was a big hot mess of anthropomorphic baby animals, quotes about Kelly Clarkson’s lowlights and wedding shit. 

BUT-

It also had a TON of shitty tattoos by women, for women, all over their woman-parts.  As many of you know, there are three things I do well in this world:

1. obliterate my mind and body with drugs and alcohol

1.  rock cutoffs

2. write poetry

So I’m going to write the shit out of some poetry, with a special Pinterest edition of my patented “Bad Tattoo Haiku.” But first- I’ve got to get on the INSIDE. 

SO, I MADE MY OWN PINTEREST PAGE.  It’s going to be updated near constantly for the next couple of days, so fucking check this shit OUT:

http://pinterest.com/rebeccamleib/

You’re welcome. 

Rebecca