Say Something Funny...B*tch

This conversation took place with my future stepdaughter at Islands- the Restaurant.  Fine Burgers and Drinks.

If you don’t know what Islands is- you probably don’t live in California, Arizona or Nevada.   This slice of tropical paradise only exists in this trifecta of key states. 

Islands is a tiki hut explosion for Suburbanites and Midwest transplants.  Fake toucans hanging from the rafters, inside surf shacks, fish tacos and Tommy Bahama shirts to boot!  It is where the dreams of a Hawaiian vacation and leaving your 9-5 come to  die.

This is where we went to dinner. 

My future stepdaughter had won a “Good Behavior Award.” It was presented to her by THE PRINCIPAL (I use all caps because THE PRINCIPAL is a big deal when you are in second grade).  She has no idea what she did or how it came to be.  But, I can honestly say I have never seen her so excited.  Which makes me excited.  I took A LOT of photos. This awesome honor came with a Pineapple Power gift certificate- good for one free kid’s meal at- you guessed it- Islands.  A perfect marketing ploy if you ask me. Kids dinners run for about $5.00- but when the whole family comes in to eat, drink and be merry- Islands has nailed it for with a big ticket bill.  Gotta give it to ‘em!

So- I was enjoying my Aloha burger and started off the dinner convo:

Me: “What other awesome thing did you do at school today?”

FSD: “Almost beat a third grader at tetherball.”

Me: “Wow.  Awesome!”

FSD: “She was in a cast though.”

Me: “Don’t worry.  That counts.”

FSD: ” And in art class we are copy paintings of other artists.”

Me: ” That sounds exciting.  Whose painting are you currently replicating?”  (And yes- this is how I speak to her.  Gotta culture her up!)

FSD: “Someone who uses lines.  Lots of lines.  And colors.  Little bits of colors.”

Me: “Do you remember his or her name?”

FSD: “I can’t”

Me: “What does the particular painting you are working on look like?”

FSD: “A horse.”

Me: “Kandinsky.  You are definitely replicating Kandinsky.”

FSD: “That’s it!!!”

Me: (disbelief) “Really?!”  (Grabs iphone and Googles ‘Kandinsky Horse.’ Up pops a picture of Kandinsky’s Horse.  Shows FSD)  “Is this the painting?”

FSD: “YES!!!  How did you know?!?!”

Me: “Because I studied art history, and I know everything. I will always know if you are telling the truth and if you lie.  I will also know if you ever smoke.  Don’t smoke or use drugs.  I will know.  And your hair won’t grow anymore.  These are all facts.”

FSD: “…….wow.  You are a genius…….”

Me: Smiles knowingly.

FSD: “I love this place.”

Me: “Me too.”

Just another successful day of parenting and making sh*t up!