Say Something Funny...B*tch

Today I finished my work and my requisite P90X and got high as fuck to write my own meditation.  So, after you enjoy the fruit of my admirer, you can enjoy this entry from YOURS TRULY.  You see, I’ve gotten two types of request for my Valentine’s Day Edition this year: music and advice.  

Music, because I have bomb-ass musical tastes, and advice because I’m a fucking GURU when it comes to pretty much everything else. 

So, I combined the music and advice to make a crazyass playlist punctuated by some romantic advice  to make a crazy-ass playlist punctuated by some romantic advice I’ve learned through my years of breaking hearts and taking names.*

*dating.

I call it MY BIG, DUMB HEART playlist. It can be broken up into mini-mixes, though this isn’t recommended.  It’s about 5.5 hours long.

In other words, it’ll take you from Berkeley to Los Angeles.

10:20 AM/Spoon 2:10

Telstar/The Ventures 2:38

Barracuda/Heart 4:24  (sexy.)

Feel It All Around/Washed Out 3:48

I Follow Rivers/Lykke Li 3:48

Busby Berkeley Dreams/The Magnetic Fields 5:06

White Hot/Black Flag 5:06

Bad Girls/MIA 3:48 (this song is the shit)

Cool It Down/The Velvet Underground 3:06

Spanish Sun/The Chesterfield Kings 3:23

 1. Enjoy Yourself. Someday-years from now, probably- you’ll be married or divorced or single and look back on all of those people you kissed and you’ll hate yourself for wigging out through the whole process of beginnings.  Fucking RELAX.  Enjoy weird bra fumblings and first blowjobs.  

Transatlanticism/Death Cab for Cutie 7:55

You Know My Name (Look Up The Number) 4:19 

Wait For Your Love/Mr. Airplane Man 3:58

Just What I Needed/The Cars 3:43

No Exchange/Minutemen 1:51

Tomorrow Never Knows/The Beatles 2:57  (but you know, tomorrow sometimes knows)

Come Back From San Francisco/The Magnetic Fields 2:48

Start Choppin’/Dinosaur Jr. 5:40

I Feel Good/Puerto Rico Flowers 4:42

A Drop In Time/Mercury Rev 4:20

2. Don’t Text when you feel crazy.  Seriously.

When My Boy Walks Down The Street/The Magnetic Fields 2:38

Morning Bell/Radiohead 4:35

Let Me Serenade You/Three Dog Night 3:05

What Do I get?/Buzzcocks 2:56 

I Want To Be The Boy To Warm Your Mother’s Heart/The White Stripes 3:16

3. Say What You Want.  As a Midwestern woman, I was taught the fine arts of modesty and placating others. I’m slowly trying to unravel some of this in myself and getting a lot of my needs met simply by asking.  And if you ask and don’t receive? Fuck it: you had the balls enough to ask, and people will respect the shit out of you for that.

The Gift/The Velvet Underground 8:16 (Awesome)

4. Establish sexual compatibility early and often.  Yeah, anticipation is fun, BUT ALSO AND SO IS FUCKING. 

Green Eyes/ Husker Du 3:02 (I’m going to get drunk at my wedding and sing this)

All Good People/ Good Luck 3:29

Tonight the Streets Are Ours/Richard Hawley 3:43

Recollections of Wraith/Shabazz Palaces 3:35

Drivin’ My Life Away/Eddie Rabbit 3:11

Fido, Your Leash Is Too Long/The Magnetic Fields 2:33

Eric’s Trip/ Sonic Youth 3:48

Heartbeat/Childish Gambino 4:29

Bring Out The Clouds/Craft 6:20

Please Be Patient With Me/Wilco 3:17

Fake Plastic Trees/Radiohead 4:53 

5. Be wary of those who “don’t like labels.” Sure, labels don’t define us or our relationships, but they’re an important element in expressing your respect for what you’ve built with your partner.  If the person you’re with can’t do this, they don’t like you enough or are fearful of the future enough for it to be a fucking problem. 

Wouldn’t It Be Nice/The Beach Boys 2:32

Two Princes/Spin Doctors 4:17 (Yeah, this is happening)

Shake A Leg/ACDC 4:05

California Queen/Wolfmother 3:55

Little Secrets/Passion Pit 3:59

Change Clothes/DJ Danger Mouse 4:04 

Wild Ones/Flo Rida 3:54 (Someday I’ll make a full mix about fornicating in public club areas. Until then…)

Two-Headed Boy/Neutral Milk Hotel 4:26

My Window/The Residents 4:19 

Why I Love You/Jay-Z, Kanye West 3:21 (anthem of 2011)

6. Say I Love You, and often.  Nobody complains about getting too many compliments or love affirmations.  NOBODY.

Runaway/Kanye West, Pusha T 9:07 (the shit)

How Long/Mr. Airplane Man 3:50

Siberain Breaks/ MGMT 12:10

The Distance Between Us/The Present Moment 2:56

Mystery of Life/Eels 4:22

Skinny Love/Birdy 3:21

Old Fashioned Love Song/Three Dog Night 3:24

Cruel To Be Kind/Nick Lowe 3:29

7. Logic and Passion. A good relationship exists in both, much to my dumbass, logic-loving dismay. Distrust relationships that err on one or the other.

Fight Test/The Flaming Lips 4:16

Need You Now/Cut Copy 6:09

In Accordance to Natural Law/Bikini Kill :29

I’m The One/Black Flag 2:45

Modern World/Jonathan Richman and The Modern Lovers 3:16

Howlin’ For You/The Black Keys 3:12

Troublemaker/Shannon and the Clams 2:50

I Can’t Do Anything/X Ray Spex 3:00 (there’s a lot of truth in song titles)

Leader of the Pack/The Shangri-La’s 2:52 (best first line ever)

Every Day/Buddy Holly 2:11

I Don’t Want to Grow Up/Tom Waits 2:31

8. Don’t Play Games. Games are for spies and babies in ball pits.  You are neither unless you worship “The Rules.” If that’s the case, stop fucking reading my shit, please. 

You Got It/Roy Orbison 3:30

They Don’t Know About Us/Tracy Ullman 2:59 (Paul McCartney!)

Lovefool/The Cardigans 3:14

Come Talk To Me/Bon Iver 6:20

Hey/The Pixies 3:31

The Shit You Hate/Bomb The Music Industry! 5:54

One Eye/Nightbirds 1:03

Los Angeles/X 2:24 (getting closer to LA…can you feel it?)

You See Me/Childish Gambino 3:15

Gotta Have It/Jay Z, Kanye West 2:21

Down on Bended Knee/Boys II Men 2:59 (May I have this dance?)

I Will/The Beatles 1:46 (The song they’ll play at my wedding for the brief moments that I am still sober)

It’s Only Time/The Magnetic Fields 4:26 (end this shit with a little romance, please).

And you’re home. 

Remember, I love you all. But especially You, EJS.

You’re Welcome,

Rebecca

Want this mix? Get this shit on spotify under “My Big Dumb Heart.” Yeah, I know I like the Magnetic Fields a fucking lot,  and I’m indulgent as fuck, but I’m being romantic, so deal with it. 
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