Say Something Funny...B*tch

This Friday marks the second anniversary of Michael Jackson’s death. There were so many dancers, musicians, video actors, weird 80’s aesthetics, and over the top celebrity cameos that were a huge part of my memories of Michael Jackson’s career.  Here are some of my favorites:

Dan Akroyd in the We Are the World video.   He looks so uncomfortable.  He might have walked into the wrong room. I think he was expecting to loop for Into the Night.

Speaking of uncomfortable…Linda McCartney in the Say, Say, Say video. Aww, the poor girl. I’ve seen driftwood with more charisma. Also, is Paul and Michael’s make-up in the vaudeville scene in poor taste?  

Sheryl Crow’s hair on the Bad tour. It was huge and frizzy. She back- up danced her Midwestern ass off.

The old guy in The Way You Make Me Feel video.

Kick ass lady guitarist, Jennifer Batten that played on the Bad Tour. I wonder if she and Sheryl fought over a bottle of LA Looks hair gel. 

Magic Johnson’s acting in the Remember the Time video. It’s terrible. Why didn’t he play the pharaoh and Eddie Murphy play the goofy guard? I always though that Iman ordering the death of the hacky court entertainers made her just a little less attractive as a video love interest. Has anyone seen David Bowie and Iman’s children? I bet they look like mocha skinned Communion aliens.

The white gang leader in the Beat It video. He gets lost in the background amidst he other guy’s dumb white outfit. I think Chuck Klosertman pointed out that he was probably at a disadvantage to defend himself with a knife in his left hand. I might be biased as a left hand-er, but I assumed left hand-ers don’t become gang leaders. We tend to become art teachers and bassists for the Beatles.

George Wendt and his La-Z-Boy getting blown by Macaulay Culkin’s Marshall stack right into Africa in the Black or White video.  It’s terrible, but not as awkward as watching Magic’s acting. Where is George? We need more of him.

The church lady zombie with the pillbox hat in the Thriller video. There’s something about her. I wished she were one of the kooky aunts on Amen.

Before Silver Spoons and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Alfonso Riberio was that kid in Jackson’s 1984 Pepsi commercial.

And finally, the trippy, weird glycerin soap background in the Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough video. I think there were better wedding videos being produced at that time.

This was originally published in I Stomach LA. I updated the links and photos!