Say Something Funny...B*tch

Jessica Glassberg fit more in her weekend than you do in your whole life. 

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Jessica Glassberg knows that Halloween is “the time for America to slut-it-up”… but she’s always gone for funny over slutty… 

Check out her awesome costume!  (Trust us: it’s AMAZING!!!) 

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Pain never looked so good. 

Broomball  as told by Jessica Glassberg

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Celebrate Munchkin and being a Nerd- all at the same fabulous moment!

Read on:

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Hey, remember that time I made mushroom and barley soup at 11 o’clock at night?  Oh, you don’t?  Well, it was last night. 

Why? 

Well, the simple answer is… XBF’s mother and his vegan father arrived this morning and while most of their meals are planned out (eating with my parents, meeting XBF for lunch, etc.), I wanted to cook up something all could enjoy.  Hmm, now that I think about it, that wasn’t such a simple answer… 

So, why was I making this at 11PM on Sunday night? 

See, Saturday was Yom Kippur… the Jewish day of atonement. A day where we don’t eat and get to spend the day thinking about all of the stupid crap we did all year long and hope that G-d will forgive us for doing them and then we say that we’ll try our hardest not to do them again. Amen! 

While the holiday actually does have some happy aspects to it, it’s pretty solemn, so you don’t say “Happy Yom Kippur,” instead, since it’s quite hard not to eat when all you are thinking of is that fact that you can’t eat… you say, “Have an easy fast.” (Easy Fast was also the nickname of many of the girls in my high school.) 

Yes, that is definitely the short short version of the holiday.. but I just wanted to give you an idea of my weekend… because you wanted to know.  I know you did. 

Traditionally, our family breaks the fast with a dairy dinner… bagels and cream cheese (yes… with lox… some stereotypes are stereotypes because they’re true).  

I made a frittata with spinach, goat cheese, salmon, sautéed onions and fresh herbs.  I chopped up two whole onions… I sliced one for those who wanted to top their bagels with a few circles (my dad), and one was chopped for the frittata.  As I put the chopped onions into the pan, I started to realize… that’s a damn lot of onions and kept half of them out of the pan.  It also might have looked like a lot more onions than there actually were since I was looking at them through tear-filled eyes.  Damn you, onions… damn you! 

Then, by evening’s end, I realized, other than a few slices, practically an entire onion remained.  What to do with all of these onions…? MUSHROOM AND BARLEY SOUP!  

After a day of not eating followed by an evening of gorging, I was not in the mood to throw together a soup. I decided I’d make the soup the next day. 

Well, as days too often do… yesterday got away from me… completely. So much so that I unintentionally fasted for the second day in a row (followed by an evening of gorging… this time going for Oktoberfest… sausages and beer with friends… no I didn’t eat the friends.) 

Once we returned from dinner… I remembered… MUSHROOM AND BARLEY SOUP!  

So, there I was, at 11 o’clock last night… soaking barley, chopping veggies and making soup… hopefully the in-laws’ll like it.  We’ll see! 

(NOTICE THE TIME ON THE CLOCK… SOUP’S DONE… TIME FOR BED!) 

HELP!!!!  Jessica Glassberg is covered in Airplane Grime….and this may be her swan song!!

Read more!

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 ’HELP!’- the movie, the book, the Beatles. 

Jessica Glassberg breaks them all down for you- book club style. 

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Jessica Glassberg may be sick, but she isn’t sick of love.

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Cooking Class, Fantasy Football and Remembering 9/11- all in a day’s work for Jessica Glassberg. 

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Remember Jerry Lewis and his Telethons for MDA?!?!  

  Well, apparently there was controversy abundant, and now it is the MDA Labor Day Telethon, not the Jerry Lewis   MDA Labor Day Telethon.

Jessica Glassberg reports from Vegas-

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Happy Labor Day! 

Jessica Glassberg takes us back to the time of our youth- with animated movies and a row of Fig Newtons.

Which ones do you remember?  Read on an check out all the amazing linkage!!

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