Posts I like

More liked posts

Tag Results

2 posts tagged Valentines day

Tuesday Meditations (2): My Big Dumb Heart.

Today I finished my work and my requisite P90X and got high as fuck to write my own meditation.  So, after you enjoy the fruit of my admirer, you can enjoy this entry from YOURS TRULY.  You see, I’ve gotten two types of request for my Valentine’s Day Edition this year: music and advice.  

Music, because I have bomb-ass musical tastes, and advice because I’m a fucking GURU when it comes to pretty much everything else. 

So, I combined the music and advice to make a crazyass playlist punctuated by some romantic advice  to make a crazy-ass playlist punctuated by some romantic advice I’ve learned through my years of breaking hearts and taking names.*


I call it MY BIG, DUMB HEART playlist. It can be broken up into mini-mixes, though this isn’t recommended.  It’s about 5.5 hours long.

In other words, it’ll take you from Berkeley to Los Angeles.

10:20 AM/Spoon 2:10

Telstar/The Ventures 2:38

Barracuda/Heart 4:24  (sexy.)

Feel It All Around/Washed Out 3:48

I Follow Rivers/Lykke Li 3:48

Busby Berkeley Dreams/The Magnetic Fields 5:06

White Hot/Black Flag 5:06

Bad Girls/MIA 3:48 (this song is the shit)

Cool It Down/The Velvet Underground 3:06

Spanish Sun/The Chesterfield Kings 3:23

 1. Enjoy Yourself. Someday-years from now, probably- you’ll be married or divorced or single and look back on all of those people you kissed and you’ll hate yourself for wigging out through the whole process of beginnings.  Fucking RELAX.  Enjoy weird bra fumblings and first blowjobs.  

Transatlanticism/Death Cab for Cutie 7:55

You Know My Name (Look Up The Number) 4:19 

Wait For Your Love/Mr. Airplane Man 3:58

Just What I Needed/The Cars 3:43

No Exchange/Minutemen 1:51

Tomorrow Never Knows/The Beatles 2:57  (but you know, tomorrow sometimes knows)

Come Back From San Francisco/The Magnetic Fields 2:48

Start Choppin’/Dinosaur Jr. 5:40

I Feel Good/Puerto Rico Flowers 4:42

A Drop In Time/Mercury Rev 4:20

2. Don’t Text when you feel crazy.  Seriously.

When My Boy Walks Down The Street/The Magnetic Fields 2:38

Morning Bell/Radiohead 4:35

Let Me Serenade You/Three Dog Night 3:05

What Do I get?/Buzzcocks 2:56 

I Want To Be The Boy To Warm Your Mother’s Heart/The White Stripes 3:16

3. Say What You Want.  As a Midwestern woman, I was taught the fine arts of modesty and placating others. I’m slowly trying to unravel some of this in myself and getting a lot of my needs met simply by asking.  And if you ask and don’t receive? Fuck it: you had the balls enough to ask, and people will respect the shit out of you for that.

The Gift/The Velvet Underground 8:16 (Awesome)

4. Establish sexual compatibility early and often.  Yeah, anticipation is fun, BUT ALSO AND SO IS FUCKING. 

Green Eyes/ Husker Du 3:02 (I’m going to get drunk at my wedding and sing this)

All Good People/ Good Luck 3:29

Tonight the Streets Are Ours/Richard Hawley 3:43

Recollections of Wraith/Shabazz Palaces 3:35

Drivin’ My Life Away/Eddie Rabbit 3:11

Fido, Your Leash Is Too Long/The Magnetic Fields 2:33

Eric’s Trip/ Sonic Youth 3:48

Heartbeat/Childish Gambino 4:29

Bring Out The Clouds/Craft 6:20

Please Be Patient With Me/Wilco 3:17

Fake Plastic Trees/Radiohead 4:53 

5. Be wary of those who “don’t like labels.” Sure, labels don’t define us or our relationships, but they’re an important element in expressing your respect for what you’ve built with your partner.  If the person you’re with can’t do this, they don’t like you enough or are fearful of the future enough for it to be a fucking problem. 

Wouldn’t It Be Nice/The Beach Boys 2:32

Two Princes/Spin Doctors 4:17 (Yeah, this is happening)

Shake A Leg/ACDC 4:05

California Queen/Wolfmother 3:55

Little Secrets/Passion Pit 3:59

Change Clothes/DJ Danger Mouse 4:04 

Wild Ones/Flo Rida 3:54 (Someday I’ll make a full mix about fornicating in public club areas. Until then…)

Two-Headed Boy/Neutral Milk Hotel 4:26

My Window/The Residents 4:19 

Why I Love You/Jay-Z, Kanye West 3:21 (anthem of 2011)

6. Say I Love You, and often.  Nobody complains about getting too many compliments or love affirmations.  NOBODY.

Runaway/Kanye West, Pusha T 9:07 (the shit)

How Long/Mr. Airplane Man 3:50

Siberain Breaks/ MGMT 12:10

The Distance Between Us/The Present Moment 2:56

Mystery of Life/Eels 4:22

Skinny Love/Birdy 3:21

Old Fashioned Love Song/Three Dog Night 3:24

Cruel To Be Kind/Nick Lowe 3:29

7. Logic and Passion. A good relationship exists in both, much to my dumbass, logic-loving dismay. Distrust relationships that err on one or the other.

Fight Test/The Flaming Lips 4:16

Need You Now/Cut Copy 6:09

In Accordance to Natural Law/Bikini Kill :29

I’m The One/Black Flag 2:45

Modern World/Jonathan Richman and The Modern Lovers 3:16

Howlin’ For You/The Black Keys 3:12

Troublemaker/Shannon and the Clams 2:50

I Can’t Do Anything/X Ray Spex 3:00 (there’s a lot of truth in song titles)

Leader of the Pack/The Shangri-La’s 2:52 (best first line ever)

Every Day/Buddy Holly 2:11

I Don’t Want to Grow Up/Tom Waits 2:31

8. Don’t Play Games. Games are for spies and babies in ball pits.  You are neither unless you worship “The Rules.” If that’s the case, stop fucking reading my shit, please. 

You Got It/Roy Orbison 3:30

They Don’t Know About Us/Tracy Ullman 2:59 (Paul McCartney!)

Lovefool/The Cardigans 3:14

Come Talk To Me/Bon Iver 6:20

Hey/The Pixies 3:31

The Shit You Hate/Bomb The Music Industry! 5:54

One Eye/Nightbirds 1:03

Los Angeles/X 2:24 (getting closer to LA…can you feel it?)

You See Me/Childish Gambino 3:15

Gotta Have It/Jay Z, Kanye West 2:21

Down on Bended Knee/Boys II Men 2:59 (May I have this dance?)

I Will/The Beatles 1:46 (The song they’ll play at my wedding for the brief moments that I am still sober)

It’s Only Time/The Magnetic Fields 4:26 (end this shit with a little romance, please).

And you’re home. 

Remember, I love you all. But especially You, EJS.

You’re Welcome,


Want this mix? Get this shit on spotify under “My Big Dumb Heart.” Yeah, I know I like the Magnetic Fields a fucking lot,  and I’m indulgent as fuck, but I’m being romantic, so deal with it. 

Tuesday Meditations (1): I Have A Secret Admirer.

Okay, now I’m not a big Valentine’s Day person, but there’s a lot of Data and requests being thrown my way. So, I submit not ONE, but TWO Valentine’s Day editions of Tuesday Meditations this year!


Last night, I came home buzzed as fuck from a Tiki bar and found this: 

He/She also wrote today’s meditation for me.  Which is strange- considering I also have my OWN Meditation on the docket.  So, you’ll get to read his and then you’ll get to read mine, the real stuff, the orig.  Enjoy. 

"Hello Bitches,

It’s Tuesday and what’s worse than Tuesday besides Monday?  The fact that it is also Valentine’s Day.  And I know if you’re reading this, (why do I say if?  You are: we both know it), then you are chomping at the bit to vicariously express your Valentine’s day rage vicariously through my internet musings/rantings.

But guess what?  No way, not today!  You’re not going to ride my coattails to hilarious cathartic ranting. Because get this… I have a secret admirer!  That’s right!  So if you are a nay-sayer who hates the big “V Day Explosion” that’s because you don’t have a secret admirer and you don’t have a secret admirer because you’re not as fricking amazing as I am.  (And I have the rite-aid rewards points to prove it.  And note:  rite-aid rewards points is testimony to my awesomeness that will hold up in court, bitches.)  Want further proof?  I’m writing this.  And you’re reading it. Nuff said. (But I’ll continue writing because I am extremely generous towards you on this day of love.)

You:  “But, but, but Rebecca, Valentine’s Day is a manufactured holiday made up by evil greeting card companies!”

 Me: “No it’s not. And stop stuttering.”  It’s a day to show someone you love your affections for them in a tangible way.  And if you don’t know someone in your life who loves you enough to buy you red wrapped chocolates at the 99 cent store.  Then I truly and deeply feel sorry for you.  You need to be more awesome.  You: “But, but, but How can I be more awesome?”  Me:  “I will teach you and seriously quit with the stuttering it is not as cute as you think.”  Don’t worry, I’m here to help.  You can start being awesome by reading more of my musings, seeing my shows, and liking my photo journalism expedition into Paris Hilton’s bathroom.

Maybe one day after reading enough of my thoughts you will be witty sharming adorable and hilarious enough to gain your own secret admirer. It’ll probably be a few years though, just to warn you.

What is a secret admirer though, really?  It’s someone who is in love enough with you to leave on your doorstep a candy box, or roses, or a special gift (used books wrapped in red tissue paper).  But not in enough love with you to admit to you who he is.  (And probably not enough to admit it to himself either.)

All in all a secret admirer is pretty pathetic and passive aggressive.  But then again, those have been the cornerstones of many of my previous relationships.  So why not stick this one out.  Beside, I like to hold on to the silver lining—the best thing about a secret admirer: the anonymity of it all.  While I know it is most likely a fellow comic making his way in this world, heading down the same path I’m travelling.  He leaves it unsigned, anonymous, he gives me the greatest gift of all: that I can pretend this gift came from Michael Stagliano.

And that’s what valentine’s day is all about: self-delusion.

Happy Valentine’s Day everybody!”

Not even a “You’re Welcome??!” Jesus.  What kind of admirer is THIS?!! 

Hope I live to see another day,


Loading posts...