Say Something Funny...B*tch
By Ladies. For Bitches.
Founded by ALISHA GADDIS
Search
Additional pages
- The Ladies of SSFB
- Alisha Gaddis
- Laura Mannino
- The Wife Life
- Red Wine, Cats and Recipes
- Tuesday Meditations
- Say Something: Fashion
- You Heard Me!
- Renee's Rants
- The Art of B*tching
- Affirmations For Actors by Laura Mannino
- Don't Be An Asshole by Laura Mannino
- How To Be Unemployed by Laura Mannino
Find me on...
Posts I like
-
“I want to pretend that life is like an episode of Friends; you know that part when Rachael took a job and there was that guy who made Ross jealous...”
-
Catch the Incomperable MO COLLINS at iO TONIGHT with Tilt Tyree as Special Guest N.E.D.
“Cher” on MadTV ;)
-
In the midwest, this is a medium.
It’s so easy to say fuck you to your body out here.
-
iO West alumni Keegan Michael Key & Jordan Peele on Comedy Central!
http://ioimprov.com/west/performers/jordan-peele
Key &...
-
Interviewing Lesley (Top left no the red couch) today for The CreativeLife podcast with Jenny Yang! Yay! That’s a LOT of hapas in one place. FUNNY!
-
This came mere seconds after I made my sister tell my mom I was nominated for an emmy. The day of the emmy’s. A little about me… I haven’t been on...
-
I was never a fan of Disney princesses. They used to tease me in elementary school when I didn’t know the story lines of...
-
Morning Debriefing 9/19/11
1) Our 2011 Emmys Summary: Modern Family is the Emmy’s favorite comedy, Louis C.K. didn’t win anything, The...
-
Did you know you can take the red line to iO? Yeah, we’re the one place it actually goes. If you show your stub to the bartenders they’ll give you a...
-
Posted a couple new videos of me doing stand up. This one is about guns, shootings, and showdowns.
Such a well crafted bit.
Tag Results
1 post tagged jumbos clown room
Tusday Meditations: Finding Quality Strip Clubs (A Theory)
Hey gentle readers,
I just went to Jumbo’s Clown Room for my friends birthday, and broke some shit down for him, which I also plan on doing with y’all. We are talking about finding good strip clubs, and what strip clubs really take to be visitable, let alone pleasurable.
You see, I’m no mathematician, but I AM a genius. So, I devised a formula that I promptly and drunkenly wrote down and shared with everyone. It goes a little something like this:
It’s pretty fucking simple- B, or average numerical cup size (the 34 of a 34B) plus the average alphabetical cup size, shown here as L, plus H, which is the average length of hair extensions. L is shown on this scale, and is added in a graduation of tens based on ascending cup size. When you get into double DD’s, you don’t multiply, but keep adding. For example,
A Cup=10, B Cup=20, C Cup=30, D= 40 DDD=120
Of course, you have to use your own discretion when determining averages.
But I digress. No wait- I don’t. I’m just explaining. Let me continue…
All of this is multiplied by A, which is the ATM convenience fee, and divided by the average cost of a Coors Lite (CL). Then, add the number of times a Britney Spears song is played (VB), and you’ve got a sum.
So, let’s say you went to a strip club with girls with an average of 34 B cup, 12 inch hair extensions, a 7 dollar ATM convenience fee and a six buck Coors Lite, and you had to endure three Britney Spears dance routines, your formula would look something like this:
(7(34+20+12)/6)+3= 80
I would not go back to this strip club.
A GOOD strip club will put you anywhere from 20-40, but a shit strip club will be in the 60-80 range.
So beware, readers, and let’s start using this so none of us will be wasting precious titty time.
You’re welcome from A PUBLISHED MATHEMATICIAN,
R.
